This is inspired by one of my all time favourite tumblr pages, (have a ‘lil google, tis great), and I thought I’d write some of my own. I’ve always loved theatre and I’ve studied it for a year now, and these are just a few things I’ve learnt along the way…
1) THOU SHALT NOT BE LATE. Seriously. To be on time, is to be late. Our director gave us a whole spiel about it and basically said “the fastest way to make sure you don’t have a career in acting is to be late.”
2)THOU SHALT ALWAYS HAVE LEARNT ALL OF ONES LINES WELL BEFORE OPENING NIGHT. Once I was playing Celia from Shakespeare’s ‘As You Like It’, and hadn’t learnt my lines. During a tech run I froze, forgot them, and subsequently SOBBED on stage in front of everyone. dammit….
3)THOU SHALT NOT GET BUTT- HURT WHEN THOU DOESN’T GET THE ROLE. Everyone hates this person. There is a particular girl I know who literally believes that she is the re-incarnation of Jesus himself, and deserves all roles. Gah
4) HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE AN ANGRY DIRECTOR/STAGE MANAGER. Our school is quite fortunate to have a very experienced director, Mr Foster. While this is all great, if you either: forget lines/mock the stage manager or remotely upset him… May the devil take pity on your poor unfortunate soul… (Little Mermaid anyone?!)
4)THOU SHALT NEVER SPRAY PERFUME BACKSTAGE. In the wings, (which are fairly tiny) we have to do quick changes and a lot of waiting around for our next scenes. While nerves are bad enough, I don’t want to be choking on your friggen aromas…
5) THOU SHALT ALWAYS BREAK A LEG. Whether your hair has caught fire, or your costume has completely split, the show must go on.
And that’s showbiz… Kid. (I couldn’t very well not have that line from Chicago in there, such a classic!)